5 Parenting Styles from Prophetic & Psychological Insights
- Umm-e-Sidrah
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 7 hours ago
Every child is born like a soft, empty vessel. What we pour inside will either bloom like a flower or grow thorns.
From the very first moment, what a child seeks goes far beyond food or toys. How should they be guided and nurtured? Guardians and especially parents need to understand this.
Child-centered parenting is not a modern trend. It is a timeless Prophetic approach to raising strong, compassionate human beings.
In Five Parenting Styles: Real-Life Experiences That Shape a Child’s Inner World, we’ll see that children are not a burden, nor should they be treated as one. They don't require the gold of the world; rather are easy to bring joy to with only love, attention, and time.
This is not a theory; it is a foundation of life worth reading to the very end.
Every Child Is Unique: An Incident of Spiritual Awakening
I once met an eighteen-year-old who appeared calm, smiling, and dedicated. On the surface, nothing seemed wrong. Yet when I looked into his eyes, I felt a profound silence like an empty cave, a stillness speaking without words.
At first, I questioned myself. You might assume such silence comes from divorced parents or constant conflict at home, but there was no visible pain, no sign of struggle. I wondered if I was overthinking.
I wasn’t.
That quiet was real. It wasn’t loud, dramatic, or broken in obvious ways. It reflected profound, heartfelt needs that had never been fully seen, heard, or understood.
Listening to a Child’s Silent Struggles
This realization reminded me of a moment in 2017, during a three-day teacher training workshop I attended to support my career. In one session, our coach asked us to fold a piece of paper into an envelope with our eyes closed, following her instructions step by step.
When she finally said, “Open your eyes,” every envelope looked different. She smiled and said:
“If adults follow the same instructions yet produce different results, imagine how unique each child is. Children hear the same words, but they understand, interpret, and respond in their own ways.”
That moment stayed with me. Yet the deeper awakening came later, when my mentor shared something that brought tears to my eyes:
“Think about the pain of a child who is small, dependent, and fragile. We judge them, compare them, and slowly lower their self-esteem. When they absorb this negativity, they are labeled ‘naughty’ or ‘difficult.”
Embracing the Inner Child at Any Age
From that moment, something shifted within me. I committed to listening to every child from infancy through adolescence, not just their words but their inner world.
I realized that children, whether quiet, shy, or talkative, often carry struggles they cannot express.
"Recognizing this changed how I parent, teach, and mentor, an eye‑opening realization guiding me.
Usually, the responsibility of the child is assigned to the mother alone. While the mother connects strongly with the child, the father's role is significant as well. By sharing the responsibility, the child will find balance on the scale of guidance and role models!
5 Parenting Styles to Heal a Child’s Broken Soul
A child can quietly break even when both parents are present, feeling unseen or unheard, especially during adolescence.
As the Qur’an reminds us:
“And wealth and children are [but] a trial; and Allah has with Him a great reward.”
(Surah At-Taghābun 64:15)
Children are a trust and a blessing; thoughtful upbringing leaves a lasting mark on their hearts, entrusted to our care and responsibility.
Age-wise Child Development: Prophetic Parenting Piaget's Theory
Every child grows step by step, shaping their inner world and golden heart. Read the stages to see how Prophetic parenting mirrors Piaget’s theory of cognitive development.
0–1 Year: Trust & Love
Hugging, carrying, and responding to every need.
In early childhood, child-centered care and consistent mentoring help a child bloom securely, and it’s not only a mother’s duty, as said previously.
"Abu Huraira reported that al-Aqra' b. Habis saw Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) kissing Hasan. He said: I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: "He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him."
Sahih Muslim 2318
1–3 Years: Exploration & Curiosity
Learning through play and gentle guidance.
Discovering the world safely with parents' timely attention can be an act of worship when intentions are pure.
Anas (RA) reported:
“I have never seen anyone kinder to children than the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.”
Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Fada’il, Hadith 2316
3–5 Years: Social Skills & Sharing
Encouraging cooperation, fairness, and empathy
Practicing early communication and relationship skills.
For example, as done in pre-school, conversations with the parents are also required. A parent asking their toddler, "How was their day?" and presently listening to their broken words is a sign of building confidence and self-esteem.
6–12 Years: Moral & Responsibility
Teaching honesty, accountability, and ethical behavior.
Parents are role models, showing honesty and accountability through their actions.
When a youth makes a mistake, shouting or punishment is not the solution.
13+ Years: Adolescence & Independence
Allowing freedom with boundaries, providing correct knowledge of Islamic faith and law according to Sunnah and Shariah, and helping them see the beauty and modesty of Islam.
The age of puberty is a time when parents need to speak directly and patiently.
Tantrums, harsh words, or constant criticism can impact a child, making them distant or defiant. Instead of lecturing, give them space and truly listen.
When a youth makes a mistake, shouting or punishment is not the solution.
"Once, a young person came to the Prophet ﷺ expressing a wrong desire. Instead of harshness, the Prophet ﷺ guided him with reasoning, dua, and compassion."
Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22211
Psychology of Child Development:
From birth to adolescence, children grow in stages that shape their mind, heart, and character. Infants (0–1) need love and trust, toddlers (1–3) explore through play, preschoolers (3–5) learn sharing and empathy, school-age children (6–12) develop honesty and responsibility, and adolescents (13+) gain independence with guidance. Prophetic parenting aligns with Piaget (1952), showing that love, care, and support at every stage build balanced emotional and moral growth. Reference: Piaget, J. (1952). The origins of intelligence in children. New York, NY: International Universities Press.
Conclusion:
Guiding a child’s heart is an act of worship. By understanding your child and applying the 5 parenting styles, you nurture not just their mind, but their soul. Remember, every word, action, and lesson leaves a lasting mark; make it positive, as children can either be a blessing or a curse from Allah.
Comment your thoughts below! Do you like children? Do you have a smaller sibling?
Jazak Allah hu Khairan!
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