A Father's Nightmare: Good Parenting in Islam & Psychology Lesson

يٰٓاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا قُوْٓا اَنْفُسَكُمْ وَاَهْلِيْكُمْ نَارًا وَّقُوْدُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ

"O, People who Believe! Save yourselves and your families from the fire, the fuel of which is men and stones." (Surah At-Tahrim, 66:6) kanzul Iman

Dear Readers,

Rohaan had discovered the secret to his healing, and you might have thought the story had ended, yet? The real turning point came. Did the parents truly admit their mistake from the heart, or was the truth something else?? This is where the real test of parenting begins.

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It was past midnight. The house was silent until asked through the darkness. A voice familiar yet twisted with Unbearable pain.

'Save me! from this fire! It's crawling through my bones, Tearing me apart. Brother, help me!'

The sleeper jolted awake, his body soaked in sweat, his breath ragged as if he had been drowning. Beside him, his wife stirred, jolted awake by terror.

"What is it?

For a moment, he could only stare into the dark, shaking. At last, in a broken whisper, he said. "It was his voice, my brother's voice, begging, burning, crying out for rescue."

His wife's face tightened. "Impossible, your brother was a pious religious person. Everyone honored him. How could such cries come from him?"

He pressed his hands against his face, trembling.

"I don't know. I don't want to believe it, but I heard it, the cracking sound of bones. I felt it."

The horrible night passed, leaving shadows heavier than sleep, and then three nights later, it returned. This time, there was no mistaking. The face appeared hideous, and the charred eyes were wild with torment.

Flames seemed to swirl around him as he screamed, struggling to resist their grip. 'Save me.' The dreamer awoke with a strangled cry, his heart pounding, his soul gripped with dread. There was no escape now, no denial. By morning, his voice was weak, almost pleading

"Take me to the scholar," He said, "I must know what this means."

Three days later, they entered the quiet study of the Islamic religious scholar. The air was heavy with incense, yet even its fragrance couldn't cover the weight pressing on brother's chest. He sat down, his hands still shaking, his eyes hollow from sleepless nights. He was none other than Rohaan's father. He said in grief to the Imam (leader of prayer and scholar). His voice cracked.

"I can't ignore this anymore. My late brother's screams, they don't leave me. I see his face blackened and distorted. Tell me what it means." The Scholar listened quietly, his gaze sharp yet compassionate. Finally, he said,

"I do not claim to know the secrets of dreams, but my teacher is a man of deep knowledge. Return in three days, and I will seek his guidance."

Those three days stretched like years. Rohaan's father could not escape the sounds echoing in his ears. He couldn't eat or sleep. Every shadow in the house seemed alive, whispering his brother's name. When he returned, the Imam's face was pale. "I spoke to the teacher," and he said slowly, "What you saw is not an ordinary dream. It is a reflection of truth. Your brother."

He paused his voice, dropping in a whisper. "Your brother has not found peace."

"He has carried sins to his grave, the innocence of others that broke what was not his to break."

Rohaan's father's lips trembled. "No, no, it can't be. He was respected. People called him pious."

The religious scholar's eyes darkened. "Respect in the eyes of people doesn't always mean purity in the eyes of Allah. Sometimes the masks we wear in life burn away in the fire of death. What remains is truth."

He pressed his hands to his ears, but the sound would not stop. For the first time, he understood his brother's torment was real. "But why, after so many years, can this even be resolved, and why haven't my brother's sins stopped yet?"

The Imam fixed his gaze on Rohaan's father, his eyes deep and searching. For a moment, the room fell into a heavy silence. "Tell me, do you truly believe what your son revealed?"

His chest grew heavy, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He stammered, "I admitted my mistake. I asked Allah for forgiveness. I confessed I was too harsh on my son."

The Imam leaned closer, his piercing eyes like arrows,

"but did you believe your son when he spoke of your brother? Did you accept his truth, or did you comfort yourself with the lie that your brother could never do such evil? When Rohaan came to me, do you know what state he was in?"

Such that Imam's voice grew heavier with each word, cutting through the silence.

"He was broken, his mind was drowning in panic, on trauma so deep it could have driven him to end his own life. A child in such pain easily loses his way, and the path of Destruction becomes his only Refuge. And you know why he suffered so much?"

Imam's eyes locked onto the Father's trembling Face

"Because of you and because of your brother."

The Father's lips quivered, but no words came. The Imam sighed deeply. "I could never tell Rohaan this directly because you are his Father, and in Islam, the Rank of Parents is so high that a child must honor them even if they have wronged him. But the dream you saw this is no ordinary dream; it is a sign."

"It means one thing: Allah is always with the oppressed. Rohaan deserved justice and the truth. You never spoke the truth your son needed to hear was simply this:

'Yes, my child, my son, evil lives in our home, yes, we failed to protect you, Rohaan.'

Imam continued softly, "Maybe today Rohaan is healing, maybe he has found peace, but somewhere in some silent corner of his heart."

There must still echo a cry. 'The Oppressor wronged me, and nothing was done.' Imam's voice thundered now, finally unyielding, "This dream you were shown is proof of that cry, proof that Allah himself heard it, and now the time you still have, you must use it to face the truth before it's too late."

Shaken by Nightmare Zone: Good Parenting In Islam

Readers,

Dreams are not always meaningless; sometimes they come as a message.

Just like a father was shaken by a dream, realizing the hidden wrongs within his family, wrongs that had once destroyed his son's childhood. When parents ignore or suppress their children's emotions, it leaves wounds that shape their personality for life.

Psychological perspective: Bad parenting

According to research from the American Psychological Association, toxic parenting involves behavior that harms a child's emotional and social development.

Examples include:

• Constant criticism and humiliation

• Emotional neglect

• Lack of affection

• Unrealistic Expectations

• Verbal and Physical Abuse

• Favoritism among siblings or cousins

Reference: APA, Parenting Styles and Child Development

Consequences of toxic parenting, anxiety, and depression in Children. Trust issues in a relationship, kids cannot trust their parents. Rebellion or extreme submission trauma that can last into childhood (like Rohaan). This aligns with Islamic wisdom; oppression always leaves consequences, whether it's between strangers or within families.

The core psychological beliefs: Children are a blessing, not a burden

Modern psychology echoes that these timeless teachings experts say if parents see children only as a burden or problem, the child may grow up with low self-worth, anxiety, or resentment. But when parents raise children with love and firm boundaries, the children become more resilient, emotionally secure, and confident. Research by the American Psychological Association confirms that children who grow up with both warmth and structure are more successful in relationships, studies, and emotional well-being.

Wealth and children in Islam

Allah, the Majesty, says in the Quran,

“Indeed, your wealth and your children are a trial, and with Allah alone lies the greatest reward.” (Surah At-Taghabun 64:15)

This verse tells us that both wealth and children serve as tests for human beings. The love of wealth can lead a person to greed, unlawful earnings, and even to falling into forbidden acts. This verse reminds parents that children are not only a source of joy and comfort but also a test; the test lies in how we raise them with love, justice, and protection.

When parents don't love you

The Prophet ﷺ used to kiss his grandsons, Al-Hasan and Al-Husain.

A man said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Prophet ﷺ replied: "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy."(Sahih al-Bukhari, 5997; Sahih Muslim, 2318)

 How to deal with evil relatives

In the Quran, Allah ﷻ says,

"Repel Evil with that which is better and you will see that the one with whom you had enmity will become close as an intimate friend." (Surah Fussilat 41:34) Kanzul Iman

How to save yourself from toxic people

Islam provides clear guidance on dealing with harmful or toxic family members. You are

allowed and even required to protect yourself and your children while maintaining basic ties of kinship.

Abu Hurayrah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said:

“O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I maintain ties while they cut me off. I do good to them while they harm me. I am patient with them while they behave foolishly towards me.” The Prophet ﷺ said: “If it is as you say, it is as though you are feeding them hot ashes. You will always have a supporter from Allah against them as long as you continue to do that. (Sahih Muslim, 2558)

Islam teaches maintaining family ties even when relatives mistreat you, but not at the cost of harm to yourself or your children. If a person is abusive or toxic, you may set healthy boundaries and keep a protective distance. Do not retaliate; respond with patience and dignity. Islam emphasizes wisdom, justice, and self-protection over blind obedience. If their actions threaten your family’s safety or faith, consult a knowledgeable scholar or mentor for guidance.

Tips for Good Parenting in Islam:

1. Start with Du‘a (Supplication):

Ask Allah for righteous children even before they are born.

Recite: "رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍۢ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا" "Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhurriyatina qurrata a’yun" 

(Qur’an 25:74).

• Constantly make du‘a for their guidance and protection.
  

2. Teach Tawheed and Love for Allah:

• Introduce your child to the oneness of Allah (Tawheed) early.

• Teach them to say “La ilaha illallah.”

• Tell them stories of the Prophets to build a connection with their Creator.
  

3. Lead by Example:

• Children copy what they see more than what they are told.

• Show good (character)  love, honesty, patience, and kindness.

• Pray in front of them and let them join you.
  

4. Provide Halal Sustenance:

• Ensure the food, clothing, and income are halal it affects their spiritual growth.

• Prophet ﷺ said: “Everybody nourished by haram, the Fire is more deserving of it.” (Tirmidhi)

5. Discipline with Mercy:

• Avoid harsh punishment and yelling.

• Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never hit a child or servant.

• Teach through love, consistency, and setting boundaries.

6. Nurture Emotional Well-being:

• Listen to your children.

• Respect their feelings and guide them gently.

• Celebrate their small successes and offer positive encouragement.

7. Educate in Islam and Dunya (World):

• Balancing Islamic education with worldly knowledge is the best part of good parenting in Islam.

• Teach Qur’an, salah, and prophetic manners alongside school education.

8. Instill Accountability:

• Teach them about halal/haram choices.

• Show that every action has consequences both worldly and in the Hereafter.

9. Create a Loving Home:

• Build a home full of mercy, peace, and dhikr.

• Avoid constant fighting in front of children.

• Read the Qur’an together as a family.

10. Be Consistent with Gratitude and Patience:

• Say Alhamdulillah in front of your children, even in difficult times.

• Teach them sabr (patience) through your behavior, not just words.

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